Today's Post Brought To You By the Letter "B"

B is in BOGO. Buy one, get one off. I've seen it before, ad nauseam, on those Payless Shoes commercials. And I guess it makes sense for relatively low cost items. But when I was home in Colorado I was flipping through the really tragic local newspaper and since I'm sort in the car shopping mode I was checking out the car ads. And there on the back of the Sports section was a BOGO add for a car! Yep, if you buy one 2009 Hyundai, then you would get a like a 2002 Hyundai for $1. Now, let's forget the whole, it's a Hyundai thing. I still think it's kind of crazy that they are doing BOGO for cars. But i guess it's a sign of the economy, especially in the car business these days.

B is for Boytoy. Lawyer X has now started to refer to me as his boytoy. Which I think is a little bit presumptuous and not really accurate. For one thing, I am older than him. And I'm fairly certain that I make more money than him. But he thinks it's cute/funny and it sort of is. So I'll let it slide. For now. ;-)

B is for Big Breasted Bigots. Specifically, Miss California. Sigh. I get that you don't believe in same sex marriage. Fine. But here's the deal, atleast be able to CLEARLY articulate why. If I was a judge, I would have given you low marks not on the content of your answer, but on your inability to articulate what you are saying. I'm guessing her major isn't in communications. Of course, now that's she popping up on ads for NOM, interviewing on The 700 Club, I guess I could be wrong. And I'm not really appalled by fact that she has breast implants. Hello, she's from California! But I do find it interesting that the Miss California organization paid for them. That's interesting. Anyways, I hope Miss California has learned to do her own hair and make up, because after her remarks at the Miss USA pageant, there isn't a gay man in the US who's going to help her dye her hair again. Those hair and make up gays will make her look like Broomhilda if she ever makes the mistake of asking for help from them.

Parentland

So after another awful trip to Nof&ck (and is there really any other kind), I drove back to DC, had lunch with Lawyer X, and then caught a plane to Colorado Springs aka Parentland.

I hadn't seen my parents since Christmas and they are getting up there, so I wanted to go visit and check in on them. I arrived on their 49th anniversary, so I scored the bonus points there. Of course, I can't believe they are still married since sometimes they snip at each other pretty badly. But if you've been living with someone for 49 years, no doubt some of it will rub you the wrong way.

Anyways, they are doing okay for their age and I'm really happy about that. But coming back to the Springs is a weird experience for me. Most of my high school friends have moved on, so there's no one there for me to hang out with. So it's the parental units, 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

And first thing Firday AM, it was time for the chores. Oh yes, I had a long "honey do" list to accomplish. Mom was certain that Dad had wired the new VCR incorrectly since she couldn't program her shows. And after a good half hour trying to figure the thing out, I finally realized that the VCR/DVD combo doesn't have a tuner. So it can't record her shows. So we get saddled up and head to Sears where she had bought it. And why Sears I have no idea. And the nice guy at Sears basically confirms that you can't buy an old style VCR anymore. They sell the types that will play VHS tapes, but they can't record shows. Unless you want to shell out $300+ bucks. Pass. We're off to Best Buy. Where the strangely thin and overly tattooed "geek squad" helper explained that technology has moved on and it's all about DVR now. They did have a VCR recorder, but again it was in the $300+ range. And really, isn't it time for my parents to wake up and smell the Tivo? So we purchased the Tivo despite my Mom's fear of any new technology and headed home. Now the real work began. I had to move the VCR from the downstairs den to Mom's bedroom. The VCR from the upstairs den to the downstairs den. And then install the Tivo in the upstairs den. Quite the drill of musical VCRs. But I got it all working and I think Mom even understands how it works. I hope so, it is really easy to use!

Friday night, I joined Mom and Dad at the Martini club. It's a group of their friends that get together once a month for drinks and "heavy horses" as my mother says (hor d'ourves). I was easily the youngest person there, except for one lady who may have been a trophy wife. Not exactly sure. Anyways, it was very pleasant and I played the dutiful son quite well. When asked about my family, I just replied that I was single. No need to go into the whole gay thing. It would definitely make Mom and dad feel weird and just not something I needed to go into. I didn't lie about it, I just didn't talk about it.

Now, one of the highlights of the trip was that I was going to get a chance to catch up with Lawyer X's sister, Agent K. She lives in the Springs and so we had planned to get together for drinks and dinner on Saturday night. So she came over to my parent's place where we had a drink with my Mom and Dad. It was all very civil and very nice. So that was good. Afterwards, we hit this cool new restaurant (well new to Agent K and I) in the Springs called Blue Star. It's in a part of town that I would call sketchy, but it was really nice. Of course, we open the door and the little lobby area is packed with the prom set. Wow. Do I feel old or what? But we made our way to the bar and sampled an adult beverage before we got our table. Had a great time eating, drinking, and just chatting. So much fun and Special K is just great. After a very filling (and yet oddly cheap (well by DC standards)) dinner, Agent K dropped me off back at my folks.

Sunday was interesting. I know have a glimpse into what divorce kids have to go through. On Sunday AM, Dad and I went to the Episcopal church and Mom went to the Anglican church. There's a huge back story there that I won't go into, but needless to say, it's all very odd. After the service, we drove up north to an Italian restaurant for brunch which was good. I'm now now shy at all about ordering a cocktail at brunch. If I'm not driving, why not. After a post brunch nap, I climbed up on the roof to try to caulk the skylights over the deck. (I called Lawyer X on Saturday to tell him I was cruising Homo Depot looking for caulk. I thought it was funny, but he was not amused!) Anyways, I climb up to the roof to try to caulk around the skylights which I guess leak during rain/snow melt. It got rather cold up there and when I was done I looked towards the mountains and they were gone. The storm was rolling in and the mountains were no longer visible. A clear sign that I needed to get off the roof.

When I woke up this AM, it was actually snowing! Friday, sunny, 70s degrees, shorts weather. Monday, snowing! Yep, that's Colorado for you.

Anyways, with the exception of some missing luggage (details!), the trip back was uneventful. Lawyer X was waiting for me and it was great to see him again.

I think that's my last trip till Paris at the end of May, but Lawyer X goes into trial mode so I'm not sure how much of him I'll be seeing. Kind of a bummer, but I'll deal. I seriously need to get back into my gym routine.

Tilghman Island

You know what’s weird? Now that I have a social life, I don’t seem to work insane hours (well as insane) which is good I guess. But I apparently don’t blog as much either. Hmm, go to dinner with Lawyer X, or blog? Wii bowling with Lawyer X, or blog? (Insert almost anything) with Lawyer X, or blog. Seems the blogging is losing out in this deal. I’ll try to find a way to balance my real social life and my online life a bit better.

Anyways, so Lawyer X and I passed a major milestone last weekend. First it was our 6^th month anniversary (the exact date we started officially “dating” is kind of arbitrary, but that’s what I’m saying it is) and we had our first trip together! Yep, we decided to skip out of town and where did we go? Tilghman Island, MD. Yes, I know, how random, and not very gay, but it was great!

We actually ditched work on Friday and around 1030 or so we headed out to Annapolis. Can someone please explain to me why traffic SUCKS heading out of DC on a Friday morning? Anyhoo, we made it out to Annapolis and the weather was GLORIOUS! After some rainy, dreary, cold days, the weather had finally turned and it was just amazing. We had lunch at Chick and Ruth’s, a serious dive from my midshipman days. The food was good and the milkshake was delicious! Afterwards, we walked around the Yard (USNA campus) and I showed him the Chapel, John Paul Jones’ crypt, some of the academic buildings, Bancroft Hall, etc. It was fun, though I can’t seem to remember a lot of the details anymore. It must be that getting old thing. We hit the Midshipman Store for some quality shopping and then got on the road around 4PMish for the eastern shore.

So the drive was fine and we made our way to Tilghman Island Inn. Now I had heard about this from the Washingtonian’s website and it looks really nice. Plus they had a really nice restaurant and Lawyer X is a foodie. So I knew he would be happy. The Inn was really nice, on the edge of a channel and across the water is a marsh area where you could see all sorts of egrets, ducks, etc. Very nice room, with a fireplace on a timer and a bathtub spa! After settling in a bit, we sampled the cheese plate and champagne that we got as part of the weekend package. Very nice. After a couple of glasses of champagne, we went down to dinner, with a quick stop at the bar for a cocktail to enjoy as we watched the sun setting. Since the Inn is on the western edge of the eastern shore, we had a beautiful sunset over the water. Dinner was amazing. And included a couple of glasses of wine. And then we had a dessert wine to finish the meal. If you are counting, that makes basically 6 different drinks. Needless to say, after dinner I wanted to make sure I got a glass of ice water to take back to the room. At the bar was the executive chef. When we had come down for dinner originally, he had been at the bar working on his 3^rd or 4^th glass of scotch, or so I thought. Well by this point he was pretty buzzed and very chatty. He’s talking about his grandkids, etc and now I’m tired and starting to tune him out. And then all of a sudden, he’s talking about his partner!! Apparently they own the Inn and one runs the Inn and the other the restaurant! So I guess it was going to be a gay weekend after all.

Saturday AM, we sort of slept in and then got up around 10ish to grab a quick light breakfast before heading up to St. Michael’s. St. Michael’s is just the cutest little village. It’s a short drive away. We parked and then basically walked about the town. Had lunch at a restaurant in the harbor and then wandered around the little shops that lined the main street. The weather was amazing again and the little town was packed with tourists. We wandered over to the local winery for a tasting and since the outside area was full we were taken deep into the winery where the settling tanks are and where they have another sampling area. It was kind of dark, and cool, and it was kind of romantic back there. We sampled some wines and most of them were good. Lawyer X bought some a cabernet, while I got the chocolate zin (a-ma-zing!). After that, we discovered that the local brewery was right next to the winery (talk about some city planning!) and so we had to sample a flight of the local beer. Some good stuff and some interesting conversations with the locals. Afterwards, we drove down to a small town that has the oldest, consecutively running, private ferry which took us across the river to Oxford. The ferry could probably only hold 9 cars and it was a short ferry ride, but it was just fun to do. Oxford is another one of those picturesque towns and the waterfront houses are all just so pretty. And I’m sure quite a pretty penny. Our whole mission to Oxford? To get ice cream. Apparently the ice cream place there is quite well known and we both got two HUGE scoops. Birthday Cake Oreo and Carrot Cake for me. OMG, so good. And if you notice a food and alcohol theme for the weekend, you wouldn’t be wrong. At all. Back on the ferry and then back to the Inn where we did an encore of the afternoon cheese plate and champagne. Yum. Then I had made reservations in St. Michael at another high end restaurant. Apparently Rumsfeld and Cheney eat there occasionally. If I had known that ahead of time, then I would have gone somewhere else, but as it was they were not there and I didn’t have to try to do a citizen’s arrest on them. Dinner was again phenomenal. And included some great wine. We were fat, buzzed, and happy by the time we made our way back to the Inn.

Another leisurely get up on Sunday AM. I will say that it’s weird to hear boats going by in the morning. But they actually have a real fishing fleet at Tilghman Island, plus all of the wannabe weekend fisherman, so the channel was hopping. Brunch was included in our package so we settled in to another great meal. Gumbo, eggs benedict & French toast with grand marnier, and then a brownie with ice cream for dessert. All so delicious! Now, you know how I hate to talk about other people, oh wait, I actually like to do that. So let me tell you about the other guests having brunch. A nice couple (boring), a cute young gay couple (hate them), and then we had this one straight couple. He was a bit older (late 40s), a bit dumpy, glasses, tragic comb over. Just kind of sad. His “companion”? She was Asian, much younger, but not really that attractive. Sporting a black bustier that highlighted her ample chest and then some black short, shorts. For BRUNCH? This is what you wear to brunch? After I pushed my eyeballs back into my head, I’m like, “don’t look at them, don’t look at them. “ But it’s like a car wreck. I can’t *not* look. That’s when I notice the short shorts have a big metal zipper that goes all the way up. Lovely. When he starts to feed her salad (salad?!?!?!), that’s when I’m like, we gotta go. Just too weird.

On the drive back to DC we hit the outlets just before the bay bridge and did quite a bit of damage.

Overall, the weekend ROCKED! Just some good quality time with Lawyer X. We got along amazingly well. The Inn was fabulous! The food was great. And the liquor was copious! So it all adds up to an amazing weekend!

Joint Custody and Those Crazy Fundies

So with Lawyer X virtually sequestered  preparing for some legal thing (yawn!) on Tuesday, I've gotten joint custody of the Princess.  I was just going to walk her highness this evening and then I succumbed to her "poor little me" look and decided that since Lawyer X was working late that she should spend the night with me.  She's already claimed her spot on my good red chair and when I went to fold some laundry she just hopped up on the bed and curled up.  No, please.  Make yourself at home!  I'm assuming that Lawyer X will show up at some point as well. 

And if this is all sounding slightly domesticated, it is.  And secretly I'm loving it.  

Now, I'm used to pop culture stealing things from gay culture and turning it into something hot and trendy.  I got that.  But now it seems the fundies are trying to steal some of our things and needless to say they aren't good at it.  Sigh.  Teabagging Parties?  Really?  Are you kidding me? 

And then it was Two Million For Marriage, but they thought they would be hip and call it 2M4M.  Wow.  Really.  Is it possible to be that cut off from reality?  Or to not have the common sense to look up what these things mean before you decide to make it the centerpiece of your political message?  Of course, considering who these people are and how archaic their political message is, I think they deserve all of the ridicule that they get!

These people really need to get a life.

Iowa, Vermont, and Thomas Jefferson

Wow, what a crazy couple of days.

Iowa. Again wow. Who would have thought that change, dramatic change, would happen so quickly in the heartland. Bravo to the Republican judges who ruled in support of gay marriage. Bravo!

And I love this clip. Kind of makes me tear up inside:

And Vermont! You paved the way for civil unions and now this huge step towards equality. Thank you! I'll be having some of Ben & Jerry's Americone Dream to celebrate your vote (vote! not court decision!) and to help out your economy. And while I love Americone Dream already, if you think about it, the American dream is life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. So it just makes sense to celebrate with Americone dream!

Despite the fact that work sucks my will to live lately, I surfed around the intertubes looking at the responses to both the results in Iowa and Vermont, I stopped by Jimbo's blog where he had some famous words by Thomas Jefferson that are inscribed in the walls of the Thomas Jefferson memorial on the Mall:

"I am not an advocate for frequent changes in laws and constitutions. But laws and institutions must go hand in hand with the progress of the human mind. As that becomes more developed, more enlightened, as new discoveries are made, new truths discovered and manners and opinions change, with the change of circumstances, institutions must advance also to keep pace with the times. We might as well require a man to wear still the coat which fitted him when a boy as civilized society to remain ever under the regimen of their barbarous ancestors."

Were our founding fathers amazing or what? I'd like to take some of our current politicians down there to show them what a real statesman looks like. I've always liked the TJ Memorial the best. I need to go back down there again soon.

At Sea (The Last Day)

Six little words.

I’ll start my diet on Monday.

Seriously, like I need to see that at the pool first thing in the AM?

The morning after the White Party is always interesting. The gays like to party hard, and then sleep late. And with the White Party going till 9AM, it means that the pool deck is strangely empty until about 11AM when the first round come out to bask in the sun and burn away the demons from the previous night.

Of course I’m up early, but I’m off to the spa for a hot stone massage. Fan-tan-stique! As the French would say. Insanely expensive, but great. And then it’s back to the pool deck to bask in the sun. But I’m actually getting a little bit toasty so I wander into the solarium to work on book # 3.

I did go to catch some of drag bingo with Ms. Ritchfield. She’s hilarious! So much fun.

And then it was time for the last Tea Dance. And it was one of my favorites. So much good music. So many hot guys. Just a great, great time. As the sun began to set, we burned across the pool deck dancing like there was no tomorrow.

After the tea dance, I had a leisurely dinner and then started to pack my bags. Sigh. The last event for the cruise is the Last Laugh Comedy Show, this time with Alec Mapa. Again. Hilarious. So much fun and a great way to end the week. There is the final “Last Chance” dance, but I’m done. Stick a fork in me. Another great Atlantis vacation.

I won’t bother you with the details about the logistical trip back home, except to say that it was great to see Lawyer X again.

At Sea (Again)

Up again early. The same ole routine. And I get my good spot on the pool deck. Close to the pool and close to the bar. I get my diet coke fix and settle in to read my book. But I’m distracted by a very hot couple who are lounging in the pool. Too hot. And too cute. And both must be wearing cockrings as I don’t think Fedex delivers packages that big. Anyhoo . . . .

It’s sunny and hot and I pause from book # 2 to jump into the pool to cool off. It also gives me a chance to try to be sociable. And I try, but it’s not really my strong suit.

Around 1PM, we have pool games: the Mommie Dearest Obstacle Course. I love this. They get a group of guys together and make them run to different parts of the pool deck where they have to re-enact parts of the movie: “NO MORE WIRE HANGERS . . . . EVAH!” as they spank one of the atlantis guys with a wire hanger. “Christina . . . Bring me the Axe” and then they proceed to cut a rose from a railing. Then they chug a Pepsi and scream, “Don’t FUCK with me fellas, this ain’t my first time at the rodeo.” And the last is where they actually put on a one piece woman’s bathing suit, a swim cap, and do a quick lap in the pool and the come back to say, “I’m bigger and I’m stronger and I will always win!” And of course, the gays being the big drama queens, every re-enactment becomes more dramatic, more overacted, more insane. It really was quite funny.

After a bit more time in the sun, I head in for a quick disco nap. The White Party is this evening and I need to rest. And I do, a bit. But I’m going to be needing that 5 Hour Energy shot later. After my nap, I get dressed and head back to the pool deck for the Atlantis Newlywed game. So they get couples who have been together for less than a year, between one year and three years, between four years and 10 years, and then over 11 years and then ask them really horribly personal questions. It’s hilarious. One of the couple is this overly muscled couple who are hot/cute. They’ve been together for just over 4 years. So when it’s time for one half of the couple to get up and leave, Malcom, the cruise director, asks the bottoms to get up. And neither of the muscle couple leaves. It’s just hilarious. And eventually one of them stands up and walks off. Time for questions: “Your partner has a very big *blank* and an itsy-bitsy *blank*. Wow, getting kind of personal aren’t you? “Logo is making a movie about your love life, the theme song to the movies is: Shook you all night long, I Touch Myself, Silent Night, or 8 Days a Week?” “Your partner finds you in bed with another man, does he: stalk off, join you, or stabs you with an icepick?” And some of the answers were just painfully funny.

After the game, I headed to the martini lounge which was packed for a cool beverage and then I went to the formal dining room and had dinner with two very nice couples from San Diego. The older couple had been together almost 35 years and they were a riot!

Instead of going to see Chita Rivera perform, I went back to the room to check email (loser) and then get ready for the White Party. Now apparently Chita Rivera was amazing, but I’m not really a broadway queen, so I passed.

For the White Party, I just pulled out the white football pants. It’s actually a pretty look on me. But several other guys had the same idea and I think they pulled it off a bit better. The costumes for the White Party are always insane and this was no exception. Lots of great costumes, and lots of hot men. The music was great and there were actually songs with words in them! I wandered around taking pictures, dancing a bit, and just people watching. There was a lot of good people watching. I made it till around 330AM, and then call it a night. I know my roommate didn’t make it back until after 6AM. And I think at 730AM they forced the remaining partiers to the Sky Lounge so they could clear off the pool deck and get ready for the day.

One of the other great things about the White Party (or any of the parties really) is that a lot of the ships crew will come up to watch and even dance a bit. I’m fairly certain that they don’t get to do this type of things on the other cruises they do.

Willemstad, Curacao

So needless to say I got up early. Did the normal routine but this time I took my book to the pooldeck to reserve my lounge chair even before I go to the gym. Work out. Breakfast. Just a small note here. I think the food is good in general. With two exceptions. The eggs are always runny. Get an omlette instead. And the breakfast sweets are awful. They’ve made all of these really delicious looking pastries, but they all kind of suck. They just aren’t really that sweet or they taste weird. So definitely not worth the calories. I keep trying them in case there is one that is decent. So I take a bite. I grimace. And then I put it down and walk away. How’s that for some freakish dietary discipline? Anyhoo . . .

After showering and cleaning up, I head back to the pool deck. And my lounge chair is gone! And now I don’t really care, but I’ve got like 30 pages left in my book and I want to finish it. I walk around and finally spot my chair and book. I just grab my book and walk away. I don’t need any drama thank you. So I pull up another chair and I complete my book. That’s one down. Two to go. So I pull out my second book and a guy a met while we were waiting in line to board the ship comes up to chat with me. He was all bitchy about the ship not leaving on time and staying in Fort Lauderdale for Kimberly Locke. “Some American Idol runner up.” Really, you’re bitter about that? By a 5 hour delay? Well, first of all he says that he saw her and admitted she rocked the house. So there. But then he proceeds to tell me this awful story of how his partner of 4 years apparently decided to end their relationship about 3 weeks ago. And they are both on the cruise. In the same stateroom. And he’s trying to work it out, but his partner just thinks they are friends now. Yikes. It was like a little soap opera taking place in front of me. And while I do feel bad for the guy, I’m also like: Look, I was really happy just sitting here reading my book. Agh! But I did make a dent on the new book after a bit.

Around 1PM we pulled into Curacao and I’ve opted for the Beauties of Curacao tour. It’s supposed to be a tour of the island to see some of the country side and it “implies” that we’re hiking because it says you need comfortable walking shoes (no flip flops) and be able to walk over varying terrain. But no, we spent most of the time on the bus exploring the western & northern part of the island. I try to slip into my tour bus narcolepsy, but the woman’s voice is loud and a bit irritating. I doze, but then I keep hearing her say “young cock.” And the first time I think, wow, I’ve never actually had a dream on a tour bus. But then I hear her say “young cock” again and the two guys in front of me are snickering. So I know I’m dreaming this. Well the third time she says “young cock” I’m trying to figure out what the hell she’s talking about since I’ve missed most of her shpiel. And then I see the sign. “Jung Kok.” It’s dutch, and obviously pronounced “Young Cock.” It’s a salt flat named for one of the original settlers. And out on the salt flat you can see some flamingoes. Too far away for picture, but still kind of cool. After a brief stop at an artist’s gallery, we head to the north shore. And I’m trying to stay awake and I will say that I think Curacao is very pretty. And I think they are lucky to be under Dutch rule. They still have some poverty issues, but overall I think the island is much better than Dominican Republic or Haiti!

We reach the north shore and stop to see the surf crashing into the rocky shore. Very cool and just oddly similar to some of the shore line I’ve seen in Ireland. The sun is out, the wind is blowing, and it feels good to be out in the countryside exploring. After a quick soda break, it’s back on the bus and we’re heading to one of the public beaches on the western shore, near West Point. It’s nice, but I didn’t think swimming was an option on the tour so I didn’t bring a swim suit which is a bummer. The drive back into town takes forever and the four of us in the back of the bus are being bitchy about being trapped on the bus for this long. We return to the ship just as a heavy storm cloud proceeds to spit rain. So I huddled quickly onto the ship. But the town looked so cute and I wanted to go shopping, so after I *thought* the rain had stopped, I headed out. And I get right to the bridge that takes you over into the downtown area (cute, cute, cute), and it starts to rain. Now at this point it’s clear that all of the stores are closed so I’m like, never mind. Back to the ship, a quick dinner, and then I needed a disco nap badly if I was going to make it to the night’s party.

I wake up just before 11PM, get cleaned up and head topside to see the fireworks. The local gay community in Curacao hosted a tea dance this evening and then they were going to have fireworks for us as we left the harbor. And no I didn’t go to the tea dance. I think the men there would be more to Museum Man’s taste than mine. And I’ve got a man. So I slept. The fireworks are good and I’m slowing sipping my vodka and 5 hour energy shot. Now the good thing is that the 5 hour energy shot really worked. I was not tired at all during the dance. The bad thing is that I took it at 11PM. Do the math. Right. So at 3AM when I decided that I really needed to go to sleep, not so much. But in the mean time, it was time to get my groove on!


So the 90’s Diva party is one of my favorites! So much good diva music in the 90s. Madge, Whitney, Mariah, etc. One of my favorite Annie Lennox’s dance remixes came on, “And it feels like you’re 17 again!” Love that. Had the best time. I did stop to get a beverage and ran into the ship’s security officer. I had seen him before and he is HOT, HOT, HOT! Umm, you can take me to the brig anytime you want. Needless to say if he ever went to the 14^th deck forward, he would be *very* popular. But it’s not like there was a shortage of hot, hot, men out that night.


Around 230AM, we ran into a small rain squall. And while maybe half of the crowd disperses for cover, the rest of us stay as Cher is blaring from the speaker: “Cause we’re Strong Enough! . . . . “ And we’re loving it. The cool rain is washing the sweat off of the hard muscled bodies on the dance floor, cooling us off as we continued to burn across the pool deck. Just amazing. The squall passed and then the dance floor becomes packed again. I’m not sure what time the party ended. I quit at 3AM and *tried* to go to sleep. With some success, but tomorrow is the White Party and I need to be ready for that!

Casa de Campo, Dominican Republic

Put the pizza down. Step away from the buffet. And no one will be hurt.

Seriously.

I must stop having a late night snack because I’m having the most messed up, trippy, dreams. My favorite is where I’m street luge-ing (yes me, street luge-ing) down the streets of Paris (of course) when I discover a school full of perfect little children. They are clones being grown so their organs can be harvested. So it’s like a mix of X-games and X Files. All to a kickin dance track that is probably echoing in my subconscious from the party I left the night before. On the other hand, if the dreams are this good, maybe that piece of pepperoni isn’t such a bad thing. ;-)

It’s another early get up for me. Try 730AM. And I hit the gym again. My routine on these cruises become fairly routine. ;-) Breakfast, shower, change, and then I did some work in my room as we pulled into Casa de Campo.

Hmm, not sure what to say. It’s a gigantic pier that they’ve built to attract the cruise ships, but I think the main tourism draw is the golfing. Apparently there are tons of beach/golf resorts around here. And instead of doing the beach or snorkel thing, I’m thinking, this is my first time in the Dominican Republic (and damn it I don’t get a passport stamp for it!) so maybe I should do something cultural. See the country a bit.

So I sign up for a tour to a nearby town called Higuey which is famous for its basilica. So I’m like, I’m in. Now the downer is that they ask everyone to cover their knees and shoulders. So no shorts and tank tops. And I only brought one pair of pants, my jeans. So that’s what I’m wearing. But apparently they didn’t tell everyone that and most of the guys (I think 20 of us) are wearing shorts and T-shirts. And no it didn’t make a difference. What they didn’t tell us, and which was a serious downer is that Higuey is like a 45 minute drive. In a hot, crowded bus. Not fun. But with my tour bus narcolepsy, I was zoned for most of it. Which is hard to believe considering Clemente (our tour guide) was talking VERY LOUDLY! I did remember passing through fields and fields of sugar cane and also some sad little villages where all of the roofs were made of corrugated tin. Kind of sad really. We get to Higuey and it’s a dusty little town that could be anywhere in the Caribbean. Pretty non-descript. Which makes it funny when you see the monstrosity that is the Basilica that the town is famous for.

It’s huge, it’s ugly, and it’s made entirely of cement. Apparently some French architect designed this in a competition that he “won.” Ugh. We stop for some photos and to check out the basilica. It’s the middle of the day and there are a few people there. In the altar area there is a famous painting of “Our Lady of High Grace” that is very famous and revered by the local population. Apparently after it was painted it was sent to Rome to be blessed by the Pope. And there is a little walkway for you to go up and see it closely. We all get in line and I notice that people are putting their hands up to touch the glass frame around the painting like they are praying to it which I find weird. It seems kind of like idolatry to my. But one of the recovering Catholics in my group explains that saints are intercessors who people pray to so that the saint will intercede on their behalf with God. And I think I’ve heard that before.

Afterwards, we go to the old church which is actually quite beautiful, if a lot smaller. As we walk around, there is a group of church women who are praying and it takes me a minute to figure out that they are doing Stations of the Cross. Very cool. Of course it’s all in Spanish, so I don’t recognize any of it. But I can figure out some of the little station paintings and what they say. The old church is very damaged and I guess they are trying to restore it. It was so pretty, but definitely in some need of help.

After Higuey, we head to the small fishing village of Bayahibe. Which it seems its only claim to fame is that is where the tourists come to catch a boat to go to Saona Island which is a natural park and supposed to be very pretty. I’m not sure why we went there. We weren’t going to Saona Island and there wasn’t anything to do there. I did walk around to take some photos. Is this not a great picture of me. Love it. It’s my Diesel picture. Diesel Jeans. Diesel Shirt. And if the clothese make me look like that, then they are worth every penny. Anyways, I wandered a bit until I started to get hassled by a child begging and that’s when I was like, I’m over this place. Time to get back to the boat.


Today’s T-dance is the Classic Disco tea dance and it’s a very popular. But it’s definitely not my favorite. The music is only so-so and the fashions are horrible. And yet gay men still find a way to turn hideous fashion into something that looks sexy. I did have a good time even if I didn’t know hardly any of the music. Half the fun of these dances are to look at the outrageous costumes and to take a few pics of hot men. So voila!

After the dance, I grabbed something to eat and then prepared for the night’s entertainment. But I started to feel a little bit sick and I think the sun and maybe the alcohol was a bit too much as I ended up missing Ms. Richfield 1981 (love her!) and went to bed. I wanted to stay up for the Brazil party, but I was just a goner.

Labadee, Haiti

So I love that the first time I came to Labadee that they didn’t call it Haiti. Either is was just Labadee, or it was Labadee Hispaniola (which is the name for the whole island). I guess it’s now okay to say Haiti again. But I decided against going ashore in Labadee. It’s a perfectly nice island, but since I wasn’t going to get a massage there, that meant that all I’m going to do is lay on the beach and tan. And I can do that from the ship.

Before the long day of tanning though, I needed to hit the gym. So it’s like 8AM and I’m heading to the gym. And there are people in the hot tub already. Scratch that. In the hot tub still. From last night! Wow, talk about party people. I’m too old for that. Anyways, I make my way to the gym and could it be more packed? I did manage to get 30 minutes of cardio in and a little bit of weights. It was hard to focus with all of the gym gods surrounding me. The gym gods attires always kill me. Some are in the high tech athletic gear with breathable mesh, and some are in the kind of urban, street attire. But I do love the T-Shirts: “I Like White Trash Boys” and “No, He’s Only My Workout Partner.”

After breakfast and a shower, I went up to grab my lounge chair. Getting a lounge chair near the pool is like the holy grail on the cruise ship. Lots of guys get up early, or stay up late and put towels and stuff on chairs to reserve them. And then they make their grand entrance later in the day. But I managed to grab a decent chair and started my day of tanning. I did go up and ask for a Diet Coke in the largest glass that they had. And they gave me one in a gigantic beer mug. Score! I’m going to bet set for awhile. So I went back to my chair and started reading my book. With no wind, the sun was very strong and I was covered in sweat in no time and I was LOVING IT! Lie on my back. Flip to lie on my stomach. Sip of Diet Coke. Lie on my back. Flip to lie on my stomach. Sip of Diet Coke. Repeat. Again and again and again. I did cool off in the pool once or twice.

After a late lunch, I had the brilliant idea of using my gigantic beer mug for an adult beverage. So I ordered a double margarita and they filled the mug to the brim. With drink in hand, I decided a change of scenery was in order, so I collected my stuff and headed up to the Solstice deck. It’s got these cool lounge chairs and these little cabana type things that I thought would be fun to check out. And when the ship is underway it usually really windy up there, plus that’s where people go to sunbathe au natural. And even on a gay cruise, it’s never the people you want to see naked who are up there. Though the percentage is better than you would think. I did find a lounge chair and proceeded to drink my margarita and get a bit buzzed. Lying in the sun I started to zoned a bit. I had turned my iPod off and I’m casually listening to the conversations around me. Have I mentioned that I love the gays? Gay #1: “Oh, I never wear my steel cock ring when sun bathing naked anymore. I learned that lesson on my first cruise.” Gay #2: “Why is that?” Gay #1: “You fall asleep and the steel gets really hot and you end up burning your balls.” See, you learn something new every day. Of course the question I want to ask is: why are you wearing a cock ring when sunbathing anyways? But I think that’s not really the point.

I escaped from the Solstice Deck and went down to the room to rinse off the sun screen lotion in preparation for my massage. And while the massages at the spa aren’t cheap, they are pretty good. I had a deep tissue massage and it felt great. But the thing I hate is that they ask you to fill out a little form to let them know if you have any problem areas (and I make the mistake of being honest) and then they use that information to try to sell you stuff. Look, you’re harshing my mellow with this hard sell stuff. Yes, I’ve got dry skin. And yes a milk bath probably is a good idea. But I’m not spending $60 on a small bottle when I just forked over some serious kwan for the massage.

It’s a Small World Part I: At the Atlantis Alumni cocktail party, I run into a friend of a friend from DC. Let’s call him Alex. Apparently Alex was doing the roomshare (where Altantis pairs you up with other single people) and his roommate is like Uber Hot. And apparently UberHot decided that they should be roommates with benefits for the cruise. Now Alex is definitely not opposed to that. And after seeing UberHot, I wouldn’t either. Now ready for the “It’s a Small World” part? UberHot is my next door neighbor! He lives in the row home two down from my condo building. I’m sure I’ve seen him before, but I’ve never seen so much of him before.

It’s a Small World Part II: Tonight there are two parties. There’s a regular dance party on the pool deck, but in the Sky lounge there is the 80s dance party. And I love me some 80s music, so I start there. The music is good and there’s something oddly funny/wonderful to hear the whole dance floor sing along to Whitney’s “How Will I Know.” Good times. As I’m dancing, I see this guy and he looks really familiar. And after 5 minutes or discreet staring I’m like, he really looks like the guy who lives in the row home across the street from me. But that’s definitely not his partner he’s dancing with. I must have him confused. And it’s hot in the Sky lounge and the ship is rockin quite a bit, so I decide to head out to the pool deck to cool off and check out the other party. As I walk along the deck overlooking the pool deck, who do I see, but the partner. Playing tonsil hockey with another guy. I guess it is a small world after all.

Well, at this point, I’ve decided to call it quits. So time to sleep. Tomorrow is Casa de Campos in the Dominican Republic.

At Sea

So I woke up at 7 this morning. Sigh. It really is a curse being a morning person. But I figured I might as well hit the gym before it got too packed. And at 730AM, on the very first morning underway, the gym was already hopping! I got my burn in on an elliptical and then I did a set of legs. Mainly because they were the only machines that didn’t have a line waiting for it. Bench Press? Forget about it. Shoulder pulldown? Get in line. And the barbell area? Don’t even think about it. Oh well, maybe next time.

After the gym, it was time to hit the Oceanview café for a little breakfast. The food is good and there certainly is plenty of it. After a quick change, I headed up to the pool deck to grab a chair and begin my very strenuous day of tanning. And while the sun was out, it was VERY windy. Like almost cold windy. But I persevered and found a decent chair in the sun and began the basting process. At some point I sort of drifted off and it felt just so good. When I finally woke up I was like, hmm, time for a cocktail! And at this point it was getting warmer (maybe the wind was dying down?) and so a nice cold frothy drink was just what I needed. And that gave me theopportunity to look at the scenery. And did I mention my body dismorphia issues? Umm, can you figure out why I’ve got issues? Wait, don’t answer that.

After a rough day of tanning, it was time for the Dog Tag Dance. Military (or uniform of some sort) is the attire for the dance. And as you arrive, you get hande

d a dog tag upon which you put a sticker. Green for single and looking to mingle (or more). Yellow for buy me a drink a

nd we’ll see what happens. Red for partnered, but still fun. The dance was just amazing. So much fun and so many hot men. I gotta give props to the Canadians. Theyalways come out in force on these Atlantis trips. But my question is: how do you get that many gay men to wear the same thing and get them to show up at the same time?

I danced until I was hot and sweaty and then went up to get blown away by the wind as I tried to snap a pic of sunset. I think that’s Cuba in the background.


As I head down stairs to change, I discovered the after Dog Tag dance underwear party. I had met some guys waiting in the line to board the ship who had told me about it and invited me. It’s in a suite that’s apparently larger than my condo and they thought there were going to be 200 hundred guys there. While tempting, I decline the offer. Sounds a little bit too

claustrophobic for me.

Shower, costume change, and then off to see the comedy showcase. All of them were really good, but I love Alex Mapa. He’s a riot and not afraid to talk trash about the owner of Atlantis. “F#$k it, I’m on a series (Ugly Betty) so I can say what I want.” A late dinner and then it’s time for the Mardi Gras dance.

Now I only brought costumes for two parties. The dog tag dance (some cammie shorts, I know, so exciting) and the white party (some white football pants). But some people go all out for the Mardi Gras Party. Lots of great costumes. As is usual on these trips, less is more. I.e. less clothing is more hot. And with the wind, ornate or extravagant costumes can become giants sails to catch the wind. I ran into some folks I’ve seen on previous trips that had two foot tall Marie Antoinette hair-dos. And they were holding on to them the whole time.

I think I made it to 1AM that night. Getting better!

Not So Much

So the live blogging isn't working so well. I didn't bring any software to make the pictures smaller and it's taking me forever to upload pics. And I'm getting charged by the minute. So I'm going to wait until I get back to post more about the trip. Sorry. On the plus side, I'll have better pics to include.

L is for . . . . .

Laptop. Yes, I’ve brought my laptop on my cruise. So that means that L is also for . . . .

Loser. Yes, I am a loser. This is the first time I’ve brought my laptop on a cruise, but there’s just a ton of stuff going on at work and we are seriously undermanned, so I just can’t disappear for a week. Sad but true. But, looking on the bright side, L is also for . . . . . .

Live Blogging! Yes, I’ll actually be live blogging the cruise! So instead of a trip report after the cruise, I’ll be able to post while we are actually underway.

So let the live blogging get underway . . . . . . .

So let’s see, I got up at the crack of dawn (doubly harsh due to the time change) to catch the flight down to Fort Lauderdale. I actually did some work on the plane (see the "L is for loser" comment above). I saw some of the other gays and we caught a shuttle to the Celebrity Solstice. There was no line for checking in (amazingly enough), but the ship wasn’t ready yet, so we cooled our heels waiting in the ship terminal. And that’s when I began to take in the scenery that would be joining me on the cruise. Umm, yum!

Got on the ship and went to my stateroom. It was nice, very nice. Actually everything about the ship was very nice. I checked out the topside areas, including the Solstice deck which had little cabanas and resting beds. The solarium. The pool deck. All, just very, very nice. After lunch I continued exploring and found the martini bar so I had to sample a beverage. Deeeelicious! But then it was back up to the pool deck to get a little sun and just veg a bit.

After the emergency life boat, I climbed up to the spa to get my reservations in. I really wanted to get a message when we are in Labadee, but they were already booked up. But I’m still on for a hot stone massage the morning after the White Party. After the spa trip, it was back to the pool deck for another adult refreshment and I sort of wandered around for a bit. Seeing all of the perfect bodies, my body dismorphia issues are running rampant. Must go to the gym NOW, NOW, NOW!! Oh, and the gym is really nice and I’ll probably go tomorrow. Anyways, I think I’m squarely in the middle of the hotness bell curve. Atleast I like to think I’m squarely in the middle.

After drowning my emotions with alcohol (okay, I had 2 drinks, big deal), I grabbed a bit to eat and headed down to see Kimberly Locke perform. She’s a former American Idol contestant and I’ve got a couple of her songs (the dance remixes atleast) and so I was looking forward to the show. OMG! She was totally amazing. What a great voice and a great performance! And she sang some of the songs I have, in their original, slow, non-dance remix, version, and she just killed! And she’s funny to boot. I guess she did an Atlantis cruise last year and she’s like, “Look, I don’t ever want to see another vodka drink, or another hot guy in a speedo walk by who I’m never going to sleep with!” Just too funny.

Here's one of the songs she sang:

So a good day, with a slight exception which brings me back to the letter L.

L is for Lawyer X. I miss him and wish he was here. I’ll still manage to have fun without him, but . . .

More tomorrow!

Mannequins, iMac, & Shoes, Shoes, Shoes

"Please don't touch the mannequins" I said sharply to Museum Man.

Lawyer X, MM, and I had come into the Commonwealth to do some chores and we were at the Sports Authority and MM was basically groping one of the mannequins. MM blushed and moved on. He was on a mission for some new sweat pants. I, on the other hand, was just window shopping looking for my next impulse purchase (which seems to happen a lot when I'm with those two!). And as I wandered I saw a really cool Underarmour baseball shirt on a mannequin. Grey, but with red sleeves. I looked at the shirts in the rack next to the mannequin and of course they didn't have a red one in my size. And then I thought. I wonder if the mannequin is wearing a medium. So I went up to the mannequin and looked at the tag on the shirt. Yep, a medium. And as I was feeling the fabric I may, keywork may, have touched the mannequin's chest.

"Um, did you just feel the mannequin's pecs?" Lawyer X said? Damn, busted! But I'm not going to let on. "No, I was just check in the material. So do you think they would let me take the shirt from the mannequin since they don't have any more mediums?" I asked to try to change the subject. "Oh, so now you want to see the mannequin shirtless." He responded. Sigh. I can't win. BTW, I did get the sales people to strip the shirt of the mannequin and that was an ordeal. They had to remove both of it's arms. Kind of disturbing.

So Apple just reduced the price of the iMacs and I'm going to take the plunge on Friday. My home PC is atleast 5 years old. I can't even load my digital pictures to it anymore without it just freezing up. My sister & BNL have an iMac and it's soooo pretty. And I like the huge 24" monitor. And sometimes size does matter.

Speaking of size, let's talk about shoe sizes. So Lawyer X is like the jolly green giant and I'm . . . . . um . . . . not. Not even close. So we head to Nordstroms to look at shoes and we both like the same pair. And he needs the extra large pair, and I need the rather small pair. The guy who was helping us looked at us and just laughed. Whatever. I'm getting the shoes! And they rule!

Oh, and Kelly (in the video below), totally NSFW.

Reward & Punishment, USMC, and SOTU

So I was supposed to get a massage on Monday. With the success of my fitness regime I wanted to treat myself with something other than food (which is kind of self defeating when you think about it). So I thought getting a massage would be a good way to reward myself for losing 20 pounds. But . . . . unfortunately I got on the scales Monday AM and I'd gained almost 5 pounds back. So if exercise and diet helps you lose weight, then not exercising and not dieting means you gain weight. And the trips to San Diego didn't help with the diet or the exercise part. And will say that I've made an awful discovery in Americone Dream! Damn you Stephen Colbert!! Damn you!!

So instead of rewarding myself, I'm now punishing myself. Yes, it's time to go back to my self-esteem crushing gym. I looked at my workout book and apparently I haven't lifted in a month. And I'm going on a cruise with teh gays soon, so I need to crack the whip and get back on track. So goodbye creamy rich ice cream, goodbye french fries, goodbye bread, goodbye alcohol. It was nice knowing you.

Spinning the subject wheel: The US Marine Corps. So I watch VH1 in the AM since that's pretty much the only time they play videos. And lately as I've been watching I notice this ad/infomercial for Black History Month about some of the first African American Marines. Apparently the ad/informercial is produced by the USMC. And I have to tell you, it rocks. And I think it's great that they are doing that.

Spinning the subject wheel again: State of the Union. Wow. It's the first one I've watched all the way through in 8 years. Again. Wow. It was really amazing. Andrew's got some good responses, and I feel for them all. It's the first time in a long time that I felt a politician was talking to me as an adult. We're in a tough situation. It's not going to be easy to fix. It's not going to get fixed overnight. But we're Americans and we can do it. Wow. Thank you for being honest with us. Thank you for treating us a responsible adults. Wow.

Oh, and Nancy, honey, please . . . . SIT THE F&CK DOWN!! Yes we got you are happy (so are we!), but you look like some sort of demonic cheerleader jumping up from your chair every 5 seconds.

I Swear I'd Be A Better Man

Back in San Diego again. And I love the cool, hip, trendy hotel I'm staying at. It's been too cold/I've been to busy to enjoy an adult beverage on the roof top bar, but maybe tonight.

I bailed from the convention early last Friday to start to make my trek back to DC for Valentine's Day. For the first time in a long time I've had someone I wanted to share Valentine's Day with, so I used my US Airway miles to get a ticket from San Diego back to DC for the weekend. It was good to sleep in my own bed, but I really went back to spend time with Lawyer X (how's that for a nickname?). We ended up doing chores together on Saturday afternoon which seemed very domestic of us, but it really felt nice at the same time. Go figure. However, I'm not quite sure how we went to do HIS chores and I somehow ended up paying $200 for a pair of Diesel jeans. Yes, I know that's insane, but they really do fit well. So I'm slowly becoming a label whore. But I'm just trying to help the economy! Really!

You aren't buying it, are you?

Anyways, Lawyer X and I did have a very nice Valentine's dinner that night. Well, -ish. I picked a cool, hip trendy, restaurant for us to have dinner. And we had a really nice time. The food. Well, not so much. The food just wasn't that great. And the service was actually pretty bad. And for the price, it just wasn't a good time. So it wasn't all that, but it was time with Lawyer X that I needed. So that's good.

Flew back to San Diego and landed in the pouring rain. Nice. Back to DC tomorrow. And then I think I'm in my own bed for atleast a week! Yeah!

Oh, and I love this song:

Work and Politics

Well they say you should never mix work and politics. And boy are they right. Because when it does happen, it's rarely pretty.

So I work for a defense contractor, so it's a pretty conservative environment, though I'm out and it's common knowledge (or so I thought) that I'm a little bit towards the left on the political scale. And my CEO likes to tweak me sometimes about it. And whenever that happens I usually go, "Oh, look at the time, I've got a meeting, gotta run, ciao!" And it works.

So last Friday my CEO comes into my office and asks, "So how did you end up giving $X amount of money to the Obama campaign? That's kind of an odd amount." And I laughed a bit to buy some time, and then said, "Well, I gave money at various times, kind of spur of the moment. Usually when I got mad. When Hillary won NH, when Palin was announced, etc." And he laughed and said that he had been on the FEC website and I asked him if I was the only one who had given money from our company and he didn't answer. He did say that I could go online to see who he had given money too. Umm, that's okay. And I'm not really worried about the conversation as my CEO and I trade light barbs back and forth pretty frequently. After the Inaugration I gave him a chocolate bar that had Obama's face carved in it. So it's all in good fun.

So I'm in San Diego (which is colder than DC and WTF is with that!) and I'm having dinner with some other people from my company including my new boss who is really hands off, which is good, but which means I haven't really gotten to know him really well yet. So over a glass of wine I thought it would be funny to tell the story about the CEO coming into my office. Wow, what a mistake. If my CEO is conservative, my new boss is rabidly conservative. And he just went off on Obama lying , etc and I was just kind of stunned. And of course now I'm like, back the f%ck off. So I kind of responded with the littany of lies that the W administration spewed. Then one of my good friends said, "So you know what you're giving says about you, right? That you don't like women." And everyone laughed. Because it's obviously not true in the sense that he means, but it kind of is true since I'm gay. And then I thought, hmm, I wonder if my new boss knows I'm gay. Sigh. That's another coming out and I'll save that for another day.

Spinning the subject wheel completely. I *L*O*V*E this song. And oddly enought I've got the dance version (natch!), but I like this version better!

Salad Snob and Coming Out (again, and again)

So I just got back from Nof&ck. Yes, my favorite place. And to be honest, this was one of the most useless trips I've taken down there.

Anyways, one of the reasons I don't like Nof&ck is because the food is not great. I'm back on my Atkins diet (after a weekend of key lime pies and a MONSTER brownie sundae at the the local hipster hangout) so I'm working the salads. And on the Navy base, not so much. So I spend lunch at the Ruby Tuesday. Yes, I know. But it's close to the base and the food is slightly above marginal. The pickings are slim so you take what you can get. But here's the deal, the salads are okay, but would it kill you to mix the salad for me? After the nice salads at Cosi or Chop't, I kind of expect my salads to be pre-mixed. And it's not like I'm lazy. Well, kind of. The real issue is that when you've given me this beautiful salad with a stip of tomatoes, a strip of chicken, a strip of cheese, a strip of hard boiled eggs, etc across the bed of lettuce, it looks really pretty. But it's a pain to toss it myself. I end up getting a good portion of it on the table. You've got the big bowls back there to mix the salads, can't you do that for me?

Well enough of complaining about that.

So . . . . I had dinner with an old Navy friend of mine while I was in down there. And it's not like I ignore my old Navy friends, but most of them aren't in the area anymore so I haven't had a chance to tell them that I'm gay. And I did tell somone via email that I was gay and apparently you're not supposed to do that. It's not quite as bad as a text message breakup, but still. Anyways, it was great to see her and we started to catch up on our lives. And I knew the whole gay thing was going to come up. And when she mentioned going on chuch missions, I kind of winced inside. I'm like, this could be ugly.

And after giving her five minute highlights, she said, "So what's going on with you, who are you seeing, what's her name?"

And so I smiled a bit said, "His name . . . . . is X."

And she smiled in return and laughed a bit. She said she was cool with alternative lifestyles and kind of rambled on for a bit.

And while I am happy that my coming out isn't going to be an issue with our friendship, I've got to be honest and say the whole "alternative lifestyle" thing rubs me the wrong way. It kind implies choice. And being gay is definitely NOT a choice. But I think that mentality and the use of that phrase is kind of common among certain people of a certain age. So I just sort of bit my tongue and kep on with the conversation. I really appreciate her accepting me as I am and I didn't want to make a point out of it as I don't think she really has an issue with it.

Anyways, so the coming out process continues.

Etiquette Lessons and the Ghost of Boyfriends Past

Now I'm not Emily Post, but I was raised right as my mom would say. So I know how to behave at formal dinners. Apparently that isn't as common as one would hope.

Last week for work, I ended up having to go to a formal lunch with some dignitaries from France at the Pentagon. The government lead took us up to the Commandant of the Marine Corps private dining room. Now we had a really swanky lunch when we were in Paris, so it was our turn to put on a nice meal. Sans wine of course.

Anyways, the French senior representative noticed that while it says USMC on the plates, it also says Department of the Navy. And one of the senior US guys was trying to explain how the USMC is part of the Department of the Navy. And then one guy goes, "The USMC is a wholly owned subsidiary of the Department of the Navy." Wow, what a great line. I must use that around my USMC friends sometime!

Anyways, the host (seriously senior guy) shows up and we sit down to eat. Now being a slimy contractor, and the youngest person at the table by far, I'm at one end of the table. Across from me is a Navy CDR. So we sit down, and I have a sip of water. Well the servers come out and bring out the soup. And they serve it kind of oddly as I get my soup before the guest of honor, or the host, does. So I sit there patiently. Well, my CDR friend across from me proceeds to dig in to the soup and starts eating. I'm trying to catch his eye to wave him off, but it's too late. Anyways, the soup is finally served to everyone and we start to eat. Sort of a corn chowder with some sausage in it. Very good. Well I'm half way through my soup when the CDR decides that he's done and puts the soup aside and moves his salad on top of his plate and starts to eat the salad. While everyone is still eating soup! Anyways, when the soup is done, the servers take the soup away and then the host pulls the salad to the center of the place setting to start to eat it. Now mind you, since the CDR already ate his salad, the server took away his salad plate and his soup bowl, so he's just sitting there and not really participating in the conversation. Just odd. We have the main course, spinach and feta stuffed chicken. And it was good. Well they bring out the dessert and of course my CDR friend is served first and what does he do? He grabs his spoon and starts to dig in before everyone has their desserts. I'm like, wow, you need to get out more.

That night we flew down to Key West (hey, don't be a hater!) with the French. We worked on Friday and of course at lunch on Friday (a more casual affair) we see then storm clouds building. We go back to our meetings and when we leave for the day, the temp has dropped atleast 30 degrees. Yep, my only free day and it was cold in Key West. I just can't win sometimes.

Leaving the hotel on Sunday, I've got a late check out. I pack all of my bags and head down to the lobby. As I enter the lobby, I see a familiar face. And my first thought is no, it can't be. But I round the corner and it is. It's Norton (obviously not his real name). What are the odds that my former boyfriend (-ish) is staying at the same hotel as me in Key West? We say hello and exchange greetings. It's all very civil. And that's not to imply it was every ugly. After 5 or so months, I asked what we were doing and he said that he wasn't ready for a boyfriend. And I was okay with that, I said I still wanted to be friends. And then I never heard from him again. Which to be honest I thought was a little disappointing. I thought he was better than that. Oh well.

The good news? He didn't really look that great and I on the other hand have dropped 20 pounds and look fabulous! And that's all that really matters, right?

Obama-rama 2009

Notice how I threw 2009 in there? That's to separate it from Obama-rama 2013 when he's sworn in for his second term. Nothing like a bit of . . what's the word I'm looking for . . . . oh that's right . . . hope!

So I was at ground zero for the Obama-rama and while I did not partake in a lot of the festivities, I did go down to the National Mall to see him sworn him. Me and the other 1.8M people. But it was such a great experience.

Superlawyer, his children, and and his BF crashed at my place Monday night since the bridges to the Commonwealth were going to be closed. We all crashed around 11PM and then I heard an alarm go off at 430. And I'm like, if we're leaving at 0530, why are we getting up at 0430. And Superlawyer is like, "You obviously don't have kids, do you." Ah, good point. And even getting up at 0430, we didn't leave until 0545 where we started to trek down to the Mall. Coming up to Scott Circle is where we saw the first of the military guys standing watch. It was harshly cold and they were bundled up pretty well. We hit the Caribou Coffee at 18th and M and then started walking down 18th towards the Mall. When we hit Consititution, we cut down 17th between the Washington Monument and the WW II memorial. Once we were on the south side of the mall, we cut towards the Capital. Needless to say, it was already a mob scene by 0630. And by 0700 we had come to a forced stop right in front of the Smithsonian Castle. Not anywhere close to the Capital, but we just hit a wall of people. So we stopped, pulled out the blanket that SL had brought, and sort of sat down.

Now as the Mall began to fill up, people were packed in all around us, and trying to push their way through the crowd. While we were playing Uno. Um, hello, see this blanket. No you just can't cut through. Where you want to step is the discard pile. Please go around. And most people did, and some people just ignored us. For the most part it was okay and there was very little ugliness by anyone. And I'll have to say that part of that was due to the cold. It was FRAKKIN COLD!! The weatherman had said mid-30s, but they lied as usual. SL, the expert planner, in addition to the blanket and Uno had brought sandwiches, snacks, and water to help tied us through the morning. At some point the jumbotrons started playing the We Are One concert. Which was good. It helped take your mind off of the cold. And then the pre-ceremony stuff started being shown. And the crowd was loving it. The huge cheers for the Obama children, and the big boos for W and Cheney. I said nothing and just observed the crowd around me and their reactions. Black, white, young, old, and everything in between. And the reaction was nearly unanimous. No one was sorry to see W and his cronies leave town.

The oath. Dear God! You're the Supreme Justice, you couldn't read the oath properly! I froze a bit when it happened, but it's all worked out. And then the speech. It wasn't great. But it was good. It was a somber reminder of the situation our country faces. The challenges we need to overcome, both here and abroad. And the thing I like about it most, is that we finally have a President who will speak to us as adults. No platitudes, not obfuscation. We're American's, we can handle the truth. And we finally have a President who will tell us the truth. During his speech, he mad some comment about how we weren't going to trade our freedoms and civil liberties for security, and just when he said that, the jumbotron cut to W and I just had to smile. That's right. We don't. America is strong enough in our ideals and our principles to have the civil liberties and freedoms that all of our ancestors have fought for, while still maintaining our national security!

After the speech, we bailed. Sorry about the poem and the benediction. We'd been there for over 6 hours, we were cold and we were leaving. And we weren't the only ones. We cut through the Smithsonian Castle gardens to Independence Ave. A couple of narrow gates caused some severe bottlenecks and people were just trying to push through. Again, it was a recipe for some ugliness, but I saw none. SL and his crew headed east to walk to Eastern Market to catch the Metro. And I started west. It was hard to fight the crowd down around the Washington Monument. I felt like a salmon going upstream against the masses of people heading L'Enfant Plaza. But that was nothing. As I wormed my way across the Mall through the masses, I finally hit 18th St and looked up the street. It was just a sea of people, from building to building, all the way as far as the eye could see. It was just insane. And I knew most of them were heading for Farragut North Metro, and that would just create more of a cluster. So being smarter than the average bear, I thought, I'll skip over to 19th, walk up that and avoid all of the madness. Good plan in theory, but . . . . 19th, 20th, 21st, and 22nd were all closed to PEDESTRIAN traffic! WTF?? That I don't just get. But figured it was not a smart move to ignore all of the soldiers who were directing traffic towards 23rd. So needless to say I took a very round about way back to my condo.

That evening Museum Man, SL, and his BF and I hit 1789 for a celebration dinner. Dressed up in our tuxes, we looked great and had a great meal. I had the smoothest cosmo and then a little wine with dinner. We toasted to our new President and it was just a fantastic way to end the day. Well, sort of. SL and his BF headed back to the Commonwealth so since MM and I were all dressed up and no place to go, we would hit the ultra-hip lounge near my place. Had a drink there, which was not so good, and then finally went home since I wasn't feeling so well. Had a really rough night. Sort of like Andrew's: "I swear I didn't drink too much and suspect food poisoning or some bug, but I spent much of the night projectile vomiting into the bathroom porcelain. Maybe it was some kind of psychosomatic response to the end of the Bush administration."

Well that too, but I think it was some severe dehyradation (since I didn't want to battle the masses for the port-o-potties) combined with some strong drinks and rich food.

Anyways, that's the wrap up of Obama-rama 2009. It's a new adminstration, a new point in history, a new day for America.