Home Again!

It felt great to drive home this evening through my secret path through downtown in the warm spring air. Well, maybe not warm, but cool with a hint of warmness. Plus you could just barely make out the humidity hanging in the air illuminated by the street lights beneath the almost foggy sky. I loved it. And I was so glad to be home.

My trip to Omaha, yes Omaha, was not fun. The work portion of it was okay, the rest? Not so much. Flight hassles, hotel hassles, you name it. Loved the Holiday Inn Express with my fabulous view of the highway. In Nebraska! Don't get me started. Or the fact that I sort of made a comment about how dinner at Hooters wasn't exactly my thing, and then all I heard was how everyone was bummed about not going to dinner at Hooters. Are you FRAKKIN KIDDING ME!!!! If Hooters is considered fine dining, then I've surely been to hell, and thankfully escaped. More flight delays and hassles getting back today. I spent some quality time at Eppley Field, that's the Omaha airport. Not sure why it's not called the Omaha Regional Airport, or something like that, but whatever. The fine dining options consisted of cheese curds and A&W burgers. Oh, and needless to say I've fallen off the diet wagon and bounced three time. It all started with the fresh baked chocolate chip cookies that Midwest Express serves on their flights. And then it went downhill from there.

Anyways, trapped at Eppley Field by bad weather and more plane hassles, I had plenty of opportunity to get my pop culture fix. And in case you are wondering, here are the headlines:

Star: Hollywood Nannies Tell ALL
People: Angelina's New Son!
Us Weekly: Inside Katie's Prison
In Touch: The Killer Is . . . . (which I think is about Anna Nicole)

Just shoot me.

Anyways, I'm just SO glad to be back from America's heartland and home, sweet home!!

Amen!

The House of Bishops speaks:

"We proclaim the Gospel of what God has done and is doing in Christ, of the dignity of every human being, and of justice, compassion, and peace. We proclaim the Gospel that in Christ there is no Jew or Greek, no male or female, no slave or free. We proclaim the Gospel that in Christ all God's children, including women, are full and equal participants in the life of Christ's Church. We proclaim the Gospel that in Christ all God's children, including gay and lesbian persons, are full and equal participants in the life of Christ's Church. We proclaim the Gospel that stands against any violence, including violence done to women and children as well as those who are persecuted because of their differences, often in the name of God. The (Primates') Communiqué is distressingly silent on this subject. And, contrary to the way (others) have represented us, we proclaim a Gospel that welcomes diversity of thought and encourages free and open theological debate as a way of seeking God's truth. If that means that others reject us and communion with us, as some have already done, we must with great regret and sorrow accept their decision."

Schism is inevitable, but I think that was the case regardless. It's a good day to be an Episcopalian!

But I Look Good, Damn It!!!

So my Mom works at the church thrift store and so I end up with all sorts of dead men clothes. I know she means well, and a shirt for $1 is a good deal. Or it would be if it weren't HIDEOUS! So I thank her, keep it in my closet for a couple of months, and then when I go on a closet cleaning spree it's on it's way to Goodwill.

Anyways, for Christmas my Mom got me a nice silk tie from the Thrift Store and I just hung in my closet. I don't know. It's just didn't work for me. But when I got up this AM, I thought, what the heck, I'll give it a shot. And with the brown dress slacks and the little too dark for french blue shirt I was wearing it looked good. And I got a number of compliments. I was remarking to one of the ladies (because let's face it, they would be the only one's who would notice), how I had a hard time matching the tie and she responded. Oh, it would look good with a burgandy suit. And I stopped, and I looked at her. Burgandy suit? You know, like a maroon suit she said. A maroon suit? I don't think I've ever seen a maroon suit. And she said that they were very popular. And sure enough, when I went back down to my desk, she had sent me a link to a maroon/burgandy suit. OMG! Not only no, but do I look like a pimp NO! Hello, I'm a slacker by not wearing the requisite blue or black suit every day. I'm thinking the maroon suit is just not going to fly at all.

Anyways, after work I decided that I want to work my new look at the Ultra Hip Lounge and have a drink (diet coke) with GreekBoi. So we went over there and it was dead. There was no one really there to take in my sartorial splender! I was pissed. I looked good damn it! Where are all the fabulous people to gawk and compliment me damn it!! And seriously, do you know the last time I went to a bar on a Monday night! Now I know why!!

Blow Off, Poppy Seeds, and DCHB Update (or not)

So I did make it to Blow Off last night. I went with Stick Boy (sorry, I couldn't think of a better knickname, but I'm open to suggestions) and I think he had an okay time. He referred to it as the Man's Man crowd. Which I will have to agree with. Not quite so hard core as the Eagle crowd, though I did see a couple of harnesses. And not quite so twinky as the Apex crowd, though I did see quite a few of them. I personally liked it, and definitely got my groove on. So that was fun. Early on it was mainly a social type thing with people just talking and drinking. It was all good. Bob was spinning that there was this little lithe queen doing sort of a vogue-ing thing right up front. And Blow Off so isn't the vogue-ing scene. But she was working it for all it was worth. And I think she kep trying to get Bob's eye, and I'm not sure if Bob was just in the zone and not seeing anyone, or if he purposely trying to ignore her. But it was really quite funny. As the evening/morning got later, there was more drinking and more dancing. I don't remember everyone doing shots the last time I was at Blow Off, but maybe that was a St. Paddy's day thing. I was san alcohol and I think when I'm not drinking that I have a low tolerance for annoying drunk people. And I think there were a lot there last night. Anyways, we bailed around 130AM, kind of early, but maybe I'll make it later next time.

The reason for the early (ish) night was that I had church and then my volunteer stint at the House of Ruth. So after church, it was just our fearless leader and me as we made the trek into North East DC. And while it was probably less than 5 miles, the differences between my nice little safe corner of the ghood and their neighborhood was like night and day. Anyways, we usually help them cook a meal (and making carrot cake for 60 is a story I'll share another day), they had a leaking pipe in the kitchen, so we really couldn't cook. Instead, we helped out with chores and one of the chores was throwing food away! Apparently they had gotten inundated with bread, so we were throwing away all of these bagels. Specifically the bagels with poppy seeds. I guess there were concerns about some of the women with past substance abuse problems testing positive for drugs based on the poppy seeds. Of course that just reminded me of Elaine!

Well, I still want to pursue DCHB Night, but I think I need to wait a bit. Work is a pretty maddening vortex right now and I'm on the road to Omaha (ugh!) and Paris (yea!) in the next two weeks. So my new plan is to try to start spinning that back up in early April. So stand by for more on that!

Work to Live? Or Live to Work?

I'm in the zone again it seems. My current schedule:

Wake Up.
Gym.
Breakfast.
Work.
Lunch.
Work.
Gym.
Dinner.
Work.
Watch last night's Tivo-ed "The Daily Show" and "The Colbert Report"
Sleep.

Repeat.

And yes that's 2 gym work outs a day. I've been doing an hour of cardio in the AM. And then lifting and 30 minutes of cardio in the PM. The good news is that my "Captain Cardio" routine has helped me drop some weight. And it does feel good to fit into some of my nicer clothes and not worry about them looking like sausage casing.

Anyways, I'm feeling the urge to do a blog rant about politics, but I'll probably save that till the weekend when I have time to think clearly.

I Dare YOU!

To Read THIS!

I was there on Sunday when he gave this sermon. I was a bit offput at first. Using terms like "hetero dictatorship" usually turns me off. But as I listened to this warm, funny, determined, old man I became entranced in the sermon, the lesson, the history and towards the end I had trouble holding back the tears.

If you aren't touched by this, then I weep for you.

In-Betweeners, Nellie's Sports Bar, and DCHB!

So I love the comment from Chris over at Jimbo's blog:

"Where are the in-betweeners in this town? We are looking for a place to hang out! I am too heavy for JR’s and not big enough for a lot of the bears at Woof. I like the guys at Woof and the Eagle but I am clean shaven so for a lot of those guys I may as well be wearing flip flops and a popped collar."

It's so true. As I've tiptoed through the various scenes here in DC and the only thing I've found in common is how I don't fit in. Too vanilla for the Eagle crowd. Took skinny for the WOOF crowd. Too heavy for the Halo crowd. Too old for the JR's crowd. Too young for the Window's crowd. I feel like goldilocks looking for the perfect bed.

However, I think Nellie's Sports Bar might be the place for in-betweeners!

So I got to go inside Nellie's Sports Bar this evening and check it out. And let me tell you, it's going to be great when it opens. It's actually a pretty large building that has three different rooms, including one with just an amazing antique long bar. Very cool. There's even more space in another room for bar tables, stools, etc that has a stage that might work for a Blog Jam. But that's still kind of TBD. Upstairs there is a small room that has some really amazing antique pub glass and then there is a deck. Like the Boat Slip in Ptown, they have a very big deck! I can see that becoming a late summer hang out! Very nice. Anyways it was kind of cool to get a sneak peak.

Thanks to those who've expressed interest in doing a blog jam type of thing. And thanks Jimbo for the suggestions. I'm going to continue to search out gay bloggers to see if we can get critical mass and then figure out a way forward. I'm definitely new to this type of thing, so suggestions are welcome.

Work, Craig's List, and DCHB!

So work is feast or famine for me I swear. At the beginning of the year I had to transfer some people to other departments since I didn't have the work to support them. The effect of that was I was kind of in a nice mellow sweet spot. I was busy, but not crazy, completely overwhelmed, must binge on Coke and M&Ms, busy. Ya know what I'm saying? Well, my little down cycle is over. I'm swamped. I need to hire and basically I need to double my staff. In the meantime, I'm pulling some crazy hours. So yes while the weather was awesome this weekend, I've spent most of it in my home office trying to make a dent in all of the work I've got. So not fun.

But in between rather productive work sessions, I've been checking out Craig's List and I really don't get some people. I've got no issue with all of the people who are into much more interesting things sexually than me. Hey, knock yourself out. If you're into that. But some of the listings just don't make sense. If you just want to watch some guy jerk off in a parking lot, then why does he need to be a top? Am I missing something? I guess it's no different than ManHunt, but still, it's odd.

DCHB! So I've been blog trawling telling people about DCHB and I'll keep doing that as I can. Thanks for the interest, comments, and support so far. I may be meeting with the owner of Nellies this week and get a sneak preview of the space. So once that happens, I'll be able to really put a plan together. So standby!

DC Homo Bloggerati Unite!

So I've been thinking that it would be really cool to get all of the DC gay bloggers together. There are a lot of smart, funny, sarcastic, introspective, personal, political you name it gay bloggers out there in those internet tubes and I think it would be great to have some sort of gay blogger event. When I first moved to DC, I attended the Homo Blogjam at DC9. It was really the tipping point that lead to my own little piece of the blogosphere and I was just amazed at all of the great speakers who read from their blogs. NYC has their own monthly event called WYSIWYG Talent Show and it sounds like it's amazing according to Joe. And I kept thinking that there should be something like that in DC. Maybe not monthly. But maybe every other month? Or something. And I waited. Because there are a lot of good bloggers out there, I was sure there would be a Homo Blogjam #2. But no so far.

So I've decided to try to organize a little something. I've been in email contact with the owner of the new sportsbar called Nellies to see if we could hold an event there. And seriously what better place to have a DC Homo Bloggerati Night than at a bar called Nellies! And I think that might work.

So anyways, I'm going to try to contact as many gay bloggers out there to see if there is interest in doing this. I'm probably going to be leaving some comments on some of my favorite 'mo bloggers and hopefully the word will get out. If anyone is interested, please contact me at DCHBlog@gmail.com. And if anyone wants to help me try to organize this, that would be cool also.

And if no one wants to do a blogjam type event, then we can always do a blarg hop. Or we could do both.

So what do you think?

(I'm not sure who first coined the term homo bloggerati, but hat tip to you!)

80's Nights!

Well I'm fasting on Mondays for Lent. Look I'm not super crazy religious, but not eating for a day won't kill me if you know what I mean. So Monday was fun. Got up, did a bunch of cardio at the gym, and then proceeded to drink my way through the day. Thank God for Crystal Light Peach Tea. I'm a serious junkie. Anyways, after work I went back to the gym to lift. I did my little treadmill warm up thing and then started with lat pulldowns. I think I got through maybe the 8th rep when I realized that this was SO not happening. I had NO strength at all. None. My body was just tired. And when I stood up, I was a bit dizzy. Nice. So I ended up doing an hour on the bike, not killing myself, but definitely feeling the burn. Then that night GreekBoi and I went to see Music and Lyrics at the Dupont theaters. And you know what, it was actually kind of cute. Of course it starts with the cheesiest music video that was just a hilarious send up of all of those awful 80s videos! Pop! Goes My Heart!



Then Tuesday night was First Tuesdays, but it was at JRs. Which is kind of small for the 60ish people who usually attend. Plus I think JRs has their own usual crowd, so adding 60 more to the mix was a mistake. Plus, I think every gay man who enters JRs automatically goes into the standard S&M mode which doesn't make conversation very easy. Of course, as distracting as it was, I was loving the video's since it was 80's night! I did get to meet GCinDC, who was very nice! But then GreekBoi got bored, or tired, and we were out of there. Which is just as well since I had work to do.

Ann K-K-Koulter

Steve from BonusRoundBlog (via Joe.My.God) boils it down:

The issue isn't that Coulter called Edwards "gay." The issue is her free and denigrating use of the term "faggot."

Let's take this another way. What if she had called Barack Obama a "nigger?"

That's the issue here. She had a room full of "Christian" conservatives cheering the use of the term "faggot" and cheering the fact she "dared" to use the term, as if she were some brave champion of free speech.

She didn't call John Edwards "gay." She called him a "nigger."

Bingo. And the "Christians" clapped and cheered her like a hero!

S & M

If you're going to do the whole Stand and Model thing at JRs, my recommendation is NOT to do it with a look of sneer and disdain permanently fixed on your face. You aren't Derek Zoolander (by a long shot) and that look is NOT good for you.

Going under the assumption that you are there to try to meet people, I'm not sure how many would want to walk up and chat with you while you are sporting that look. Just something to think about.

Greekboy dragged me over to Omega which I hadn't been to in years. And now I remember why. On the upside, I think I'm good for another 2-3 years I guess. Then we went to JRs and it was packed. And packed with attitude. Thanks, but no thanks.

Thanks GCinDC!

Like I needed to know this!

My blog is worth $2,258.16.
How much is your blog worth?

Headline of the Day!

Swiss Accidentally Invade Liechtenstein

Just too funny!

Mental Health

Well there's been a definite theme running around the blogosphere today.

From Tank: "My demon is an abundance of free time spent in solitude. My curse is laziness. And my nemesis is sure to be assorted self-destructive behaviors. I've got to foil this monster before it gets any more noxious."

I do have a lot of free time. Especially since I've pretty much given up on dating for awhile. And then add to it my need to regenerate and hibernate that causes problems.

From Jimbo: "I really like my private time to regenerate, and contrary to some may perceive I'm actually an introvert, if you go by the technical description of the personality type. I'm incredibly social when I'm well-rested and have had my private time to myself, but if I'm worn out from work or a tight schedule, I'm admittedly the last person you'll want to be around."

Again, that's me (well, mabye not incredibly social). But I wonder if I take it to an unhealthy extreme? Is my need to hibernate, to shut down, to shut out the world, just an attempt to not address some of my underlying mental/emotional problems. Eating till you're sleepy, and then sleeping until you're hungry is a form of denial, or self-medication. But isn't exactly good for my waistline, which puts me back into the downward spiral of depression.

I wandered around my little condo last night. Almost pacing. I didn't want to surf the web, I didn't want to order in, I didn't want to watch TV. I didn't want to do anything. And I knew it was too early to go to sleep. It was just odd.

GCinDC talks about therapy and even if I could (I can't because of that pesky clearance), I keeping thinking: "Is the last thing I need more time in my head?"

Anyways, I need to figure out something to do that keeps me busy, doesn't drain me, and doesn't involve food or alcohol. So after the gym tonight, I may just go for a long walk. I don't know. Something different.

Quotes of the Day

Wow, I guess I was a little prescient last night. Well it's not really a rant about the Anglican Community, but these words from Bishop Robinson better express how I feel than I could possibly write about what amounts to an ultimatum from the Anglican Community:

"How will we explain this 'forbearance' to all those gay and lesbian Christians who have come to the Episcopal Church because, for the first time ever, they have believed that there is a place for them at God's table, not simply beneath it, hoping for fallen scraps?"

And . . .

"Does anyone believe that our full compliance with the primates' demands, our complete denunciation of our gay and lesbian members or my removal as bishop would make all this go away?" he asked. "For the first time in its history and at the hands of the larger communion, the Episcopal Church may be experiencing a little taste of the irrational discrimination and exclusion that is an everyday experience of its gay and lesbian members."

I completely agree. I think we're already beyond the breaking point. I don't see the Bishop Akinola agreeing to stop his colonization of America and slowly destroying the Episcopal Church of the United States.

As my rector paraphrased the Dixie Chicks last Sunday: "I’m not ready to make nice—not ready to back down—still mad as hell”!

Five Pounds

Between fasting yesterday and the "system flush" I had to do in preparation for this, I lost five pounds. Probably not the best, or most fun, way to lose weight. But I'll take what I can get. I ended up metro-ing and then cabbing to the hospital this AM, jamming to my new iPod, and then spent some quality time just waiting. Unlike my previous experience doing this, I was supposed to get drugs this time. And supposedly they did give them to me, but I still felt everything. And I mean everything. It was sort of like this:



Okay, maybe not that bad. ;-)

So my professional life and my personal life are pretty compartmentalized. When I'm at work, I'm busy doing work stuff and I rarely think about personal stuff. I've never fantasized about someone at work, or anything like that. It's all professional. But I was at a meeting yesterday at another company and this guy walked in and I'm like, Day-um! He's hot in that business man kind of way. Good build. Nice blond hair (and I'm usually attracted to guys with dark hair). Nice arms. It was ALL working for me. And of course he sat down next to me and I really had a hard time not staring. Okay, I stared at him a bit. And the funny thing? He's got a total porn star name. I did see that he wasn't wearing a ring. But that could mean a lot of things. Anyways, I'd love to figure out a way to find out if he's gay, but that's not something I can just throw out there.

Vocabulary and words. In my line of work, we all speak DoD-ese. If you aren't comfortable with acronyms, and acronyms of acronyms, you're not going to survive long. And I love that each industry and field has their own lingo. When I was down in SoBe with SuperLawyer I learned about "medmal" and "dramshop". Anyways, there's an alcoholic company that I work with a lot that uses the term "thought leadership" and that term makes me want to get violent. Like clockwork orange violent. This term gets bandied about like it's a good thing when what it really means is that you're trying to brainwash someone (usually the government). Now every company has an agenda, and I understand that, but to be so open and brazen about your intentions just kills me. How about this, how about just bring up a good idea with the facts and technology to support it. I don't know. They are consultants, so maybe that's their job. But I actually want to get something done, and all of the time and energy spent on "thought leadership" makes me want to puke.

Whew! Glad I got that off my chest. ;-)

I haven't ranted about the Anglican Community later and the ultimatim in Tanzania. I'm still thinking about it. I'll probably post about that soon.

Winter Blues

So ironically enough, in mid January I set the date for my Winter Blues Party. January and February are kind of dreary, and throw in Valentine's Day for the singles crowd, and it's just downright depressing. So that's why I thought I Winter Blues party would be fun. Dress in blue, drink blue drinks, and toast to an early spring. And it was fun. The key? White Cranberry juice with blue food coloring! I think we went through 2 1/2 big bottles of Grey Goose. And it was a small crowd. Probably no more than 10. But the gays can drink. Anyways, I woke up with a small hangover, looked out the window, and said an ugly word. SNOW! Ugh.

After church I decided to walk down to the mall and take some pics. So here you go!

FRAGILE! Handle With Care

So I like to think that I've got a thick skin, that I'm resilient, and in some instances that's true. And in some instances I'm as fragile as an egg shell and just saying the wrong thing to me can send me into a pretty bad death spiral.

One of my bad triggers is constructive criticism. Hmm, and maybe that's not it exactly. Maybe it's the re-inforced criticism, after I've already agreed to change what I'm doing, the rubbing it in my nose that annoys me. I'm my own worst enemy in overreacting and blaming myself for stuff. I'm really hard on myself and I don't need the constructive criticism repeated.

So I'm in a meeting today. A telecon, but there was one other guy not from my company there in the room with us. And while it was an important meeting, I'm also going to be out of the office for the next 2.5 days and I've got stuff I need to do. So I was trying to multi-task and I dropped synch from the conversation. The second time I got asked a question and had to ask to have the question repeated, my former boss snapped that we shouldn't be doing work during the telecon. I wasn't the only one. But I stopped. I focused on the meeting at hand excluding everything else. And it went okay.

After the meeting, after most people had left, my former boss reiterated his comment about how we shouldn't do be working during a telecon. And this is where the problem is. I agree with him. Don't get me wrong. But I stopped. And I won't do that again. But I don't need to be told twice, nor in front of other people including one my own guys. It made me feel like a second grader getting busted for shooting spit balls or something.

Which then got me pissed. This meeting is pretty much a direct result of some work that I've been doing. If we get this work, it won't come to my group, and that's okay. But I don't want to be treated like a second grader. And the more I thought about it, the more I got mad. And I know this is blowing this completely out of proportion, but that's the way it was. After he left, I went down to my office and I pretty much didn't do anything. I had just shut down. Thankfully it was almost five and then I went to the gym.

The good news is sometimes that type of incident also involved me either coming home and napping and/or eating something not healthy. But atleast I went to the gym.

Okay, some random bits:

- Have you heard this radio commercial about some local news expose about aging meat in butcher shops? I'm sure it's a real problem, but the way the commercial end just kills me: "Is your meat past it's prime." Hello! That's a line from a porn movie if I've ever heard one.

- Lou frakin Dobbs! The subject of race relations and politics is the subject and he's going to interview the new Governor of Massachusetts who's only the second African American governor since Emancipation. WTF? Like there were so many African American governor's before Emancipation? That's like saying, Nancy Pelosi, the first female Speaker of the House since Suffrage. I can't figure out why they say it that way unless the "Second African American Governor ever" sounds so much worse. It does. But that's also the reality. But adding non sequitor qualifers in describing these people is just a sham. But then, we are talking Lou Dobbs.

Just Me and Sandra Bullock

Yep, that's how I spent my weekend.

I can rationalize that my failure to go out on Friday night was due to being tired after working all week on a proposal. And I did go out briefly on Saturday during the day. But I killed my plans to go out on Saturday night when I realized that I was having trouble getting into a pair of my jeans. Getting depressed about how big I am is usually not a good mindset to have when going to JRs and seeing the S&M crowd. And other than a couple of trips today (church, volunteer gig, and lunch date), I've curled up in my condo all weekend. Sad and pathetic, or just catching up on some much needed rest, or hibernating and hiding from the world? You chose.

Regardless, I''ve been able to spend some quality time with Sandra. And yes I have Netflix movies I need to watch. And yes I have a ton of Tivo stuff I need to watch. But Ms. Bullock just beguiles me and I get sucked into watching really bad TV. Speed, Ms. Congeniality, 28 Days, even Murder By Numbers. I watched them all. Well, not really Murder By Numbers. I'm a bit too squeamish for it. But I channel surfed through it spotting Ms. Bullock there. If I had seen The Net it would have been perfect. The Net has one of my favorite quotes:

Cyberbob: So what do U want in a man?
Angela Bennett: Butch, beautiful, brilliant, Captain America meets Albert Schweitzer. Spends all day dashing into fray while making world safe for democracy; at night playing Bach cantatas while curing cancer.

Exactly! But maybe not so much the Bach cantatas.