It's Time for a Divorce

Sven and I have been together for eight years. Like most relationships, the first seven years were fun. Oh there were few problems, but stuff you just sort of assumed would happen eventually and then you moved on. But lately it's getting worse. The problems are more frequent. And more expensive. I had to take him in to get looked at last week and they wanted to keep him overnight for some tests. That's never a good sign. We went back for the tests yesterday and today I got the diagnosis. Some cylinder/oil issue thing-a-ma-bob. Look, I don't speak car mechanics very well. The upshot is that it's another $1600 dollars to get him fixed. And that's on top of the $4000 I spent last year in maintenance. So I'm sorry Sven, but it's time for a divorce. It's not me, it's you. I'm thinking I need something smaller, younger, hipper. It's just time for us to end this. I'm not going to kick you out right now, but I think we know this is the end of the relationship.